Learning to Listen Retake

Monday, April 01, 2013

Oracle card from The Map  

LISTENING:  “Now is the occasion for listening – to either the spoken word or for deeper messages.  Listen with your heart.  This card ensures greater understanding of your circumstances.” 

I drew this card this morning.  I wrote down the key sentences and then I began my day, complete with a to-do list of 45 items that I was sure I could manage.  The card and its meanings left my memory as I set about to be productive!
Unfortunately, there were some side tracks to my perfectly planned day:
I realized early that I was facing a potential loss of one or two beloved friends from a circle of women who have been together for over twenty years.  The loss comes from a complete difference in political perspectives and harsh words spoken.  I felt helpless, powerless, and afraid as I watched one of the women indicate that it was time for her to leave us. 
Another potential loss is my involvement in a local civic club. Since retiring, I am back in the club and actively looking to help by using my organizational skills.  However, I see how values and traditions have changed since I was there before.  I see that my ideas are actually insertion into territories long established and held in place with strong leaders who refuse to let go.  Everything I thought I could do to help is protected by barriers of long lasting ways of which “it’s always been done”.
I also had to challenge an invoice from the housecleaning service we have just begun to use.  The invoice indicate more time taken last week than we know was spent, and I had to point out areas of thick dust and unclean toilets as a reason why the bill was too high.  It meant that an employee got in trouble. She's a lovely woman.  I didn't like what I had to do.
Having this amount of contention in my day became exhausting. I highly value having good relationships. 
If I could quantify my take on the day, I would label it sad. 
As I began to journal tonight, I re-read the card. I get it.  In each situation, I was advised not to find reason and justification within each scenario for my own ego laden values, but to listen with my heart. 
I listened to my heart that was breaking because two women may leave our circle, and I love them both.  I “listened” to their emails and understand that they felt disrespected and hurt by each other.  I outlined my love for them and for the circle via email, and then I released the situation to its highest good, knowing my love will stay steadfast, no matter what.
I listened to my heart give me a perspective on the civic group leaders and I saw years of their doing so much work on their own that they feel absolute ownership over all that is being done to keep the club alive.  They are angry at the loss of volunteers, but don’t understand that their narrow offerings have resulted in those losses.  I have already removed myself from a leadership role in the club; it is my time to be of service to these men who care deeply about the history and mission of the club.  I will support them, I will remove my ego needs to provide a different type of leadership model.  It is their territory, I am a visitor.
And I sent an empathetic email to the owner of the cleaning service, who tried valiantly to find middle ground between our critique of the work done and the loud protests of the cleaner who believed she had done nothing wrong.  We were given a discount on our bill, but more importantly, the owner thanked me for understanding.  I sent forgiveness to the cleaner, knowing that her interests on the day she cleaned our house were really at her own home in which she had just moved the day before and she had much to do.
Listening with my heart meant that I stepped into compassion through forgiveness.  The sadness was my ego letting go.  I am ready to listen for that greater understanding just by opening to a higher view.

I am grateful.